I've never really taken any of my friendships for granted, but I have to say recently I have been reminded not only how important my friends are, but also how much they really mean to me. As most of us do, we have all kinds of friends - friends who are close and friends who are far, friends who we talk to every day, friends who are new and friends who are old, friends who drop anything to help you, friends who are TRULY there for you and friends who you haven't talked to in forever but when you see them its like no time has passed.
Like any kind of relationship, friendships take work. I can't always say I've been the best kind of friend out there, but I have tied my hardest to be the best friend I could be. I've had a small group of friends (and they know who they are) whom really showed me the true meaning of friendship. They have stood by my side and have listened to A LOOOT of nonsense from me while he was sick, when he died and the struggles since. I'm continuously blown away by their support and can't believe how lucky I am to have them. Sure, there are some people who have disappeared, and that's ok too because I know being friends with me surely can't be easy these days.
You know, when you read all these quotes on Pinterest and hear "experts" talk about friendship so many of them say that you need to cut out those people who drag you down - and I constantly think to myself, I think I might be one of those dragger downers these days. I mean, there are some days where I even annoy myself - how can I not annoy the hell out of my friends. Yet, they are still there.
I have friends whom I've known since elementary school, and while I don't speak to them often they still seem to be there. One who has written me recently who has said they've admired my strength. Some whom I run into at the grocery store and its like no time at all has passed. One friend in particular has become a dentist and his kindness, generosity and what I'd hope to be friendship has meant the world to me - I think more than he'll ever know. He answers my texts on the weekend while I'm in crazy pain and gets me medication right away. He knows that we are in a very bad financial situation and has fixed my teeth (that are literally crumbling out of my mouth) with NO questions asked. My teeth situation and financial situation is embarrassing to say the least, and he never makes me feel embarrassed or bad about it. I mean if I were him I would think "Good God how did you wind up like this?!" or "what the hell is wrong with your teeth?!". But instead he and his office still treat me with dignity and respect....and give me some really good drugs to get me through :) I will repay him one day soon that is for sure, but I pray and hope one day I will be able to offer the same kind of generosity, kindness and friendship to him as well.
I am surely one lucky girl to have such great friends. And when I reflect on the "why" of the struggles that we are going through, I am constantly reminded of the things I'm learning. I may have taken my friends for granted in the past, but I've surely been shown to appreciate each and every one of them. They say "you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends" and I say THANK GOODNESS for that!
